When Trouble Comes

   

    Neal was a marine in Iraq during Desert Storm. He and his platoon served as an outpost searching for enemy movement or activity of any kind. On one very ordinary day, they were suddenly being shelled by enemy mortars. The spies had been spied. Ordinary became intensity in a moment. Everyone reacted according to his training. They grabbed their gear, threw their stuff and themselves into the Humvees, and escaped with all accounted for. When those guys see each other fifteen years later, memories like this one come to the surface and they enjoy a oneness that others just can’t understand.

    Those marines shared a common training. Then a common experience requiring a unified response resulted in a sense of oneness.

    When Patricia and I began to plan for marriage, we agreed that we would make the Bible our foundation. As we saw those around us who lived by its truth, we saw the kind of fruit that we wanted in our home and family. We agreed to be trained by God’s Word. We sought to find the Biblical response to a situation and put it into practice. In James 5:13-14 he explains it this way:

Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray.
Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise.
Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him
and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord.

    The Bible became our common everyday training. We read it every morning, we listen to it often in the car, we memorize it together at meals, we discuss it around our table. As our children have grown, we have sought to instill this same training in them.

    Through the years we have been shocked into action by surprise mortar shells:

The doctor stated, "Judith has spinal meningitis."
A call at night: “Your son has been in an accident; he is being taken to the hospital.”
“Your property value has dropped below its cost.”

    Through illnesses, accidents, financial difficulties, we have followed the pattern in James: understand the situation, find the Biblical response, then do it. We have survived. All are accounted for. We have been blessed to enjoy an ever-deepening degree of oneness within our family and an ever-broadening degree of joy within the body of Christ.

    Make the Bible your training, make its words your intentional responses, watch the unity deepen.

PRAYING FOR YOUR FAMILY

As a young boy I remember my mom often in her room, reading her Bible and praying for us. Because of that picture in my mind, I associated the Bible and prayer together.

When I met Patricia, we shared this common thread in our lives: that God had led us by specific words from scripture. Particular verses at specific times had given us clear direction. They had become sources of hope and promise for us. For example, Psalm 145 had been God’s solace to Patricia when she was praying about leaving her home and family in California and moving to Mobile, Alabama. John 15:16 had been God’s word to me about coming to Mobile. I wanted to associate with men who produced fruit that remains.

Neither of us realized that it would be in Mobile that we would meet, marry, and raise our family.

The scriptures gave us a focus for our prayers,
directed our obedience,
and determined our destiny.

For each of our children, we asked Jesus for a “life verse:” a verse of scripture that would be a theme of his/her life and a focus for us to pray for them. For example, Patrick’s life verse is John 10: 27, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” As we have prayed for Patrick through the years, this verse has given us focus.

How did we come up with these verses? We asked Jesus to guide us. We read. We listened. We discussed. We developed a growing awareness of a direction for our children. A couple of times, Patricia had a dream that gave us direction. We looked at several verses that might be possible choices. We chose in faith. This process was worth it for us and for each of our kids.
Many times, we have come back to those verses in our prayers, in our discussions with each other, and in our conversations with our children.

So take a big theme approach. Why did the Father give you children? For what purpose? If you have not gone through this exercise together, we highly recommend it. It will make you pray, it will help you pray. It is not a rifle-shot prayer: it is a big artillery prayer, a long-range launch. You must have those long-range launches to win the war of raising children in today’s world.

Whatever you do, pray for your children. . .
and pray with the Bible in your hand.

SPIRITUAL TRAINING: The Intentional Example

Patricia wrapped the baby up in blankets; and with her purse over one arm, her daytimer in her hand, she carried the baby to the car and put little Will into his car seat. Then she came back inside to get Anna and Patrick. Anna had her doll wrapped in blankets, her purse over her arm, and her little “daytimer” in her hand. She was ready to go because she had an example that showed her what “ready” looked like.

The old adage, “Actions speak louder than words,” is still true. This is why it is so important that we allow our children to see us honor God’s word, pray, worship, and fellowship. These things are “better caught than taught.”

Genesis 1: 25 God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. 26 Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness,” (according to God’s kind).

Originally, we were created to be Godkind. In Adam’s sin, we became mankind. We reproduce according to our kind. God designed it this way on purpose. We will reproduce in our children the kind of people that we are. Building the patterns and habits that bring spiritual growth in our own lives will sow seeds into our children that bear the same kind of fruit. Because of Christ, we can still reproduce “Godkind.”

I am sure that you have read the following poem, but I have included it anyway. It’s worth having and re-reading on occasion.

Little eyes are watching you

There are little eyes upon you
and they're watching night and day.
There are little ears that quickly
take in every word you say.

There are little hands all eager
to do anything you do;
And a little boy who's dreaming
of the day he'll be like you.

You're the little fellow's idol,
you're the wisest of the wise.
In his little mind about you
no suspicions ever rise.

He believes in you devoutly,
holds all you say and do;
He will say and do, in your way
when he's grown up just like you.

There's a wide eyed little fellow
who believes you're always right;
and his eyes are always opened,
and he watches day and night.

You are setting an example
every day in all you do;
For the little boy who's waiting
to grow up to be like you.

Gathered tips on setting an example: Betty Longino told me years ago not to place anything on top of the Bible. She said, “You show honor for God’s word by how you treat the Bible physically.” Keep the Bible on top.

When you prepare your tithe, include your child in the process. Take time to explain how you are honoring the Lord by giving 10% of your income. Include him often; let him be there when you give.

Melissa Collins of Mobile told me about how blessed she was to see her children turn to prayer whenever new situations arise for them or the family. I asked her how she taught them to do that. Her answer: "I guess that 's what they have seen us do."

Question for next week: What are ways that you involve your children in the believing community? Church? Activities? People in your home? Let us know. We’ll pass it on.

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SPIRIT TRAINING: Getting God’s Word into your kids

Patricia and I had this outrageous idea to teach our two oldest kids the scriptures by saying them together at each meal. The idea was to build the scripture into our routine, just a part of what we do. At the time, Patrick was almost three and Anna was four. We started with the 23^rd Psalm. . .THE WHOLE THING! We were so disappointed after several weeks of saying it together at each meal, and yet they still looked at us like two owlets, not even an attempt to say it with us. We discussed throwing out the whole idea when the Lord let us in on a little secret.

They were playing together one morning, Anna leading the way with her dolls and Patrick dragging one by the hair. Anyway, they decided to say the blessing before their pretend meal and they started with the 23^rd Psalm. . .THE WHOLE THING! We were stunned. It was the first time that we had heard them say it, but they did it. We knew we were on to something. Ever since we have made that practice of saying a scripture part of our blessing over a meal, one way of weaving scripture into our family’s day.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

In other words, weave God’s truth into your routine; integrate it into all that you do. Little bites are better than big mouthfuls.

My pastor Billy Duke shared with me once about the Bible his mom gave him when he left home. She had written on the front leaf: “This book will keep you from sin; and sin will keep you from this book!”

Psalm 119:11 “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” Let’s be committed to helping our children hide God’s word in their hearts.

Gathered tips on teaching the scriptures: Bill and Susan Hightower love sharing after the mealtimes. Bill is very intentional in bringing to the table something of value to challenge his children to follow the Lord. It may not always be scripture; it may be manners or news items or situations that stimulate discussion.

We agree that it is a great time to train; and those short mealtime discussions accumulate over the years to shape the mindset of our children. Keep it short; think of it as planting seeds. If your kids ask questions that make it longer, that’s what you want.

Question for next week: Share with us the “who, what, when, where, and how” you teach your children to pray. We love to hear your ideas and pass them on.