SPIRIT TRAINING: Storytime

      My dad did not like to hear us brag. We would be watching a football game and the announcer would say, “This quarterback has not thrown an interception in 22 games.”
      Dad would moan, “Well, he’ll surenuff throw one this game.” And ‘surenuff’ he would. When that happened, he would tell me this story.

     When we were crossing the Pacific on our way to the Philippines during WW II, Tom Ferguson and me were standing on the ship just talking. And ol’ Tom looked right at me and said, “If anybody makes it home from this war, it’ll be me. You hear that Currie; ain’t nobody gonna kill ol’ Tom Ferguson.”
When they pitched camp in the Philippines, Dad was walking by ol’ Tom’s tent when he heard Tom say, “Hey, Currie, you silly ol’ fool, you wanta piece of coconut?”
“Nah,” Dad answered, “not now.”
But the next thing he heard was ol’ Tom yelling, “Currie, get the medico, get the medico.”Tom had taken his bayonet blade and tried to open a coconut between his legs. The coconut turned, the blade slipped and sliced the artery in his leg; Tom was gone before anyone could do anything. The medical officer couldn’t have saved him even if he had been standing right there.

     Then Dad would look right at me and say, “Don’t let me hear you bragging again.”
     He made his point. Whenever I bragged, I made sure I didn’t eat any coconuts for a long time. Seriously, that story made an impression on me. (He also told that story if he saw me handling a knife in a careless way). 

     Stories carry an emotional power, a memory missile that targets our hearts with truth. Too often as parents, we preach at our kids, lecture our kids, even yell at our kids when a story would work much better.
Here are four kinds of stories to keep in mind:

1)    Deuteronomy 6:20 encourages us to tell our children our own stories when they ask about why we do certain things. Our children love to hear about our past, our mistakes, and our adventures. Family memories, family characters, all add together to build in them family identity. And they will learn how we came to walk with God. Our stories are big in their eyes.
2)    Fictional stories are also helpful. These made-up stories can carry life lessons that help our children learn from “others” without having to go through everything themselves. Aesop’s Fables, Nursery rhymes, biographies, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Book of Virtue, and many others become our allies as we seek to form the character of our children. We can even make up our own stories.
3)    Biographies and selected current events can also be resources that are invaluable to our kids.
4)    God’s story. The grand scheme of God’s plan: creation, fall, sacrifice, redemption, resurrection, and restoration build a foundation that we want our next generation to have in their hearts. It is His story that lies underneath all the great stories of literature, especially western literature. As parents, we want this story firmly embedded in us so that we can choose wisely the stories we let through the doorways to our homes.

Jesus spoke many things to the people in parables.
Matthew 13:3

SPIRIT TRAINING: Choices

God gave the children of Israel choices. One choice brought blessing; the other brought trouble. Right choices were a lifestyle that caused the blessing of God to overtake them. God explained to them up front that choices are loaded . . . with consequences.

Deuteronomy 30: 19 This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.

Helping our children see the result of their choices is critical. Train, explain, demonstrate; let them feel the results of their choices. That is how they learn.

For younger children, adding one marble to a jar every time a chore is completed will help your child tangibly see his right choices grow. Rewards for reaching certain levels in the jar will connect the blessing to the choice of responsibility.

Teenagers need a lot of talking through of circumstances before they occur. The Lord gave Deut. 30:19 to the Israelites before they entered the land. Look ahead—for the day, for the week—scan the horizon; are there situations coming up that we need to clarify for our teens before they get there? When you pray, ask the Holy Spirit to show you what to talk about with your teen. The Holy Spirit is our Paracletos (One called alongside to help) for life; He is our Counselor, our Helper. He knows what’s ahead. Call Him alongside. He wants to guide us.

One summer afternoon several of one of our teenager’s friends were all going to a movie, harmless enough, but a mixed crowd. The Holy Spirit just pricked my thoughts, alerted me, to the fact that I needed to talk to our teenager about what could occur in a mixed crowd and what the boundaries are. Through our discussion, we were helping him look at the road and make a pre-choice for doing right.

In George Barna’s research, he found that parents and kids should be having at least 90 minutes of conversation daily. Clearly, the time is proportionate to the age; however, as parents we want to have the mindset of interpreting the outcomes for our children—of life and death, of blessing and cursing—in the coming and going of life.

Stories are a great way to communicate the outcome of choices. When our children were young, I often told them stories of a “pretend friend” named Pickety-Pockety. He was a playful, mischievous little monkey who came all the way from Africa. Somehow he landed in the very port city where we were living!

Pickety-Pockety had wild and incredible adventures in our own backyard, and his very closest playmates were Anna, Patrick, and Billy. The unfortunate thing is that Pickety often made wrong choices. Through Pickety-Pockety’s mishaps, our children were able to vicariously live out each wrong choice all the way to its fateful fruition.

For example, one incident found Pickety disobeying and leaving the yard where he was supposed to be playing. Through a series of events, he ended up running in the street where he was hit by a car. Of course we had to take him to the hospital; all the while, not even sure that he would live. He ended up being strung up in traction and had a very serious broken leg. Through this episode, an obedience lesson was clearly demonstrated in a way that they could relate to and even enjoy.

Biographies are another excellent tool for teaching our children of all ages about life choices. Consider some of the great men and women of history, or a missionary family, or maybe even stories from your own ancestry. Reading books out loud, as a family, provides not only the opportunity to stop and discuss, but it also affirms our relationships as we participate in this activity together.

Enjoy the summer with your children. Help them learn about the goodness of God who helps us know the consequences of our choices . . . ahead of time!

SPIRIT TRAINING: Use every opportunity

Last week Patricia and I were cleaning out our closet, and we ran across a box that contained some odds and ends. A ragged blue folder entitled “Shorty’s Tales” lay just under the lid across the assortment of doodads in the box. Shorty was one of my dad’s nicknames; the full version went like this: Bill William Shorty Carnie Carnelious Currie. My sister-in-law had put this collection of stories together one day just before Dad had died. She made a copy for each of us. It reminded me of how Dad used his stories to entertain us and sometimes to make a point. He was an example of someone who knew how to seize a teachable moment.

Shorty (Dad) loved to teach practical things. He knew how to do so many things and he loved to pass them on to us. He insisted on good personal hygiene; he taught us to brush our teeth with a homemade baking soda paste. Once when we were hunting, we came across a black gum tree. He stopped, broke off a small twig, and feathered the end of it as I watched. Then he took it and brushed his teeth with it. He laughed, broke another twig and handed it to me. There we stood in the middle of the woods brushing our teeth with black gum twigs; and I was thinking that my dad was a little weird. The funny thing is that I don’t remember whether or not we bagged a trophy that day, but I remember brushing my teeth with a black gum twig. He simply saw the black gum tree and seized the opportunity to teach me something.

Shorty only had an eighth grade education, but he loved to teach. He was always teaching us some little something. He taught us to whittle, to yodel, to plant a garden, to dig post holes, and more. And almost always in the middle of our activities, he would tell a story. Sometimes it would entertain, and we would laugh out loud. Of course, he laughed the loudest. At other times his stories had a point; and before we knew it, he had taught us something important. He didn’t have a twenty-year plan; but whenever the opportunity presented itself, he was intentional about teaching us something about living well.

We visited one of my older cousins James one day, and I noticed that his horse Major had only one eye. When I asked about it, James laughed and said that he hit it with a 2 x 4. My dad didn’t laugh. On the way home, he took the opportunity to instruct. He gave me the full story. Sometimes Major was stubborn, and many times James was hot-tempered. It wasn’t a good mix. When Major would not pull the plow one day, James picked up the nearest thing he could find and hit Major across the head, intending to kill him. Instead, he just knocked his eye out. Later he was sorry, but the damage had been done. Dad pulled two lessons out of that episode: 1) self-control and 2) kindness to animals. And he seasoned his comments that day with a good dose of his own emotion, a righteous anger. I got the point.

In the fast pace of this new millennium, perhaps we need to be reminded to slow down a little and take the time to pass on some lessons and stories to our own children.

Seize the teachable moment

Be intentional

Season your “life lessons” with your own genuine emotion

MORE ON STORIES. . .YOUR STORIES

Deut. 6: 20 gives an interesting instruction to the parents of Israel:

In the future, when your son asks you, "What is the meaning of the stipulations, decrees and laws the LORD our God has commanded you?" tell him: "We were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, but the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand.”

In other words, Moses instructed the fathers and mothers that your children will ask you questions about your celebrations and ceremonies. When they do, use those questions as opportunities to tell them how God delivered you from Egypt. Remember your history as a people and pass it on to your children. If Moses were standing here with us, he would say the same thing, but the story would be different. Most of us are not Jewish, but we do have a story of God’s intervention and grace in our lives.

My story might sound more like this: As I grew up in middle Tennessee, in the rolling hills of Maury County, the dimple of the universe, God began to speak to me and call me to follow him. . .

You get the idea. Take the highlights of your own story and make a note of them. Ponder them so that they are fresh to you. You will discover that God brings opportunities for you to pass them on. Just last week, I started making a list of stories; I wrote down five. Then I took my list to Patricia and asked her to think of some. She said she just could not think of that “right now” but then she came up with twenty-five more.

Your storehouse of memories is full; take stock, do an inventory of stories of your life. Make a list; five is better than zero.

Your children need your stories more than they need the make-believe stories of today’s celebrities. They need real stories of tough decisions, successes and failures, joys and sorrows, challenges and fun.

Your life, your story, your feelings, your thoughts. How God led you, even when you weren’t aware of it. What God has taught you. What he is showing you now.

When you share about yourself, your vulnerability opens a door between them and you. It also makes a way between them and God. Your openness helps them to be open. Lead the way with stories, your stories.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BECOME THEIR HERO;

YOU ALREADY ARE!

COMMUNICATE WITH STORIES

Shorty Currie was a great storyteller. He told stories of growing up in southern Tennessee during the depression and his memories were rich. He told of the war, of work, of hunting, of sadness, of laughter. We laughed until our sides ached and until the tears rolled down our faces. And the one who laughed the hardest of all was Shorty Currie. Shorty was my dad.

One important way to communicate with children is through stories. Values and life lessons have always been passed on through stories. Mom tells about her favorite doll, dad shares a practical joke. Uncle Steve remembers the winter we all went sledding, he lost control, and everyone ended up in the creek.

Stories capture the emotions and connect us with our past. Our kids need this today. David Walsh says, that the ones who tell the stories shape the culture. Unfortunately, we let Hollywood tell the stories far too often. Your kids are interested in your stories simply because they are yours and in a very real sense theirs, too.

Stories have a power to help kids make right choices. In stories, they see others make mistakes and they learn. Whenever we would use a knife, my dad would tell this army story.

When they landed in the Phillipines during WW II, one of his buddies decided to open a coconut with a bayonet blade. He called to Shorty, “Hey, Currie, you silly old fool, do you want a piece of coconut?” My dad laughed, refused, and passed the tent. The same guy then yelled, “Currie, get the medico!” He had placed the coconut between his legs and tried to cut it open, the blade slipped, severing the artery in his leg. In less than a minute, he was gone.

Do you think this caused me to be careful with a knife? You bet it did.

Our best movie screen is our God-given imagination. We have a great opportunity to help our children develop this gift. Just try. Begin. Choose some stories to tell. Make yourself a note or two so that you do not forget. I think you will be surprised at the results.

When our children were small, Patricia made up stories about a little monkey named “Pickety-Pockety.” She used this imaginary character to teach the consequences of bad choices. She didn’t have to preach because she captured them with a story. Then when we read the Bible, the kids would often make the connection.

Stories help us pass on values and principles “under the table” so to speak. It’s not didactic. It flows. It’s interesting. It’s worth the effort. Telling stories is one way to enable your children to think ahead. You are equipping them for life with stories.

SHAPE THE CULTURE; TELL A STORY!